Dear Roadie,
My daughter and I are debating what’s more important when it comes to college applications. I think it’s being a big fish in a small applicant pool, which means you have higher-than-average grades and test scores, but she’s looking at larger, more competitive schools where she is in the top 25 percent of the applicant pool. I want her to be challenged in college, but I don’t want her to struggle and feel like she’s in over her head. What do you think?
— Debating With Daughter
Dear Debating With Daughter,
Ah, the classic “big fish, small pond” debate — it’s like deciding between standing out in your small hometown or blending into the cool crowd at a big city party. When it comes to college admissions, the answer isn’t one-size-fits-all, but let’s break it down.
Being a big fish in a small pond generally means you’re a standout student — top grades, test scores that make your parents beam, and leadership roles galore. Colleges love a star. If she’s excelling at her high school, even if it’s not nationally competitive, she’s showing potential. Admissions officers appreciate students who make the most of their environment, whether they’re leading the debate team, organizing events, or crushing AP classes.
On the other hand, being squarely in the top 25 percent of a competitive applicant pool — like at a large, competitive school — means you’re comfortable being surrounded by equally ambitious peers. This environment can push you to level up academically, which makes some students thrive.
But keep in mind that colleges consider the rigor of your high school. If she’s succeeding in a challenging setting, admissions teams recognize that — and sometimes, a B in an intense program can look better than an easy A elsewhere.
Here’s the twist: Colleges look at context, too. They evaluate you based on what’s available to you — your high school’s courses, opportunities, and overall performance. Being a standout in any environment is impressive, whether you’re the big fish at a small high school or holding your own in a competitive crowd.
In the end, it’s not just about debating the pros and cons of whether it’s better to be in a big fish or the top 25 percent of an applicant pool, it’s about helping your student find the right fit. Both being a “big fish in a small pond” (where they’ll shine) or in the top 25% of a tougher pool (where they’ll grow) have merit. The key is figuring out what feels right for her.
Ask your daughter what she wants from college — confidence and leadership opportunities? A big fish vibe could be perfect. Does she thrive when she’s challenged by ambitious peers? Then aiming for the top quarter of a competitive school might be her move.
The real goal is to choose colleges where she’ll succeed academically and personally. Encourage her to apply to a mix of both types and try to visit at least one of each to get a better sense of the schools overall. Talk to current students if you’re able, and ask them about their experiences, both as an applicant and as a student. Remind your daughter that college isn’t just about where you get in — it’s about where you’ll feel at home, inspired, and ready to shine.
If she chooses a smaller school, encourage her to seek out opportunities to go beyond the basics — such as exploring unique extracurricular activities, or getting involved in the community. If she ends up in a higher-pressure academic setting, suggest she aim for balance — excel where she can, but without stressing about being the absolute best.
Bottom line: Admissions officers value students who show passion, grit, and growth, no matter where they come from. It’s not where you’re swimming—it’s how you make waves.
Have a perplexing college question? Email Dear Roadie for advice at dearroadie@road2college.com
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