Dear Roadie,
My son wants to return home and go to a local college after completing only one semester at a college seven hours away. He is completely homesick and doesn’t want to continue attending school away from home. We took a student loan to pay for housing and signed a year-long lease, so I’m stressed over whether to support him. Any advice?
— Have I Made It Too Easy?
Dear “Have I Made It Too Easy?”
Oh, the college experience—late-night study sessions, dorm life, and sometimes, a serious case of homesickness. Your son’s plea to move back home and enroll in a local college after just one semester away may seem like a shock to you right now, but it’s normal for some students to feel that way. The problem is that now you’re stuck between wanting to support him and panicking over that year-long lease you co-signed.
First things first: Homesickness isn’t just whining; it’s a real emotional response to being uprooted. For many young adults, the first semester of college is a cocktail of excitement, stress, and culture shock. And while some thrive, others (like your son) realize they’re not ready to handle the distance.
Supporting him doesn’t mean you’re enabling him. It means acknowledging that he’s struggling—and that’s a big step toward helping him grow.
The financial elephant in the room is that you co-signed that lease and took out loans, so this situation stings. But here’s the thing: financial losses aren’t the end of the world, especially if they lead to a better outcome for your son.
Start by looking at options to mitigate the damage. Can he sublease the apartment? Many college towns have Facebook groups or boards where students search for housing mid-year. Someone may be eager to snap up his place. It would also be prudent to double-check the lease terms. Some allow early termination with a penalty — but it may be better than paying a year of rent for an empty room. If he moves home, it’s also possible that you can use the loan money to cover local tuition or other education expenses.
Sure, you might lose some cash, but this isn’t about throwing money away; it’s about recalibrating for your son’s long-term success.
Does Moving Home Help or Hinder?
The big question is: Does coming home set your son up for a win, or is it an escape route that’ll keep him from learning resilience? This is a toughie; only someone who knows him well — like you — can make that determination. Even then, there’s no way to know exactly what’s going on in his mind, or what his world has been like day to day since he went to college.
Talk to him about why he’s homesick. Is it the distance? The social environment? Academic pressure? Knowing the root cause can help you figure out if staying closer to home is a fix or if he’s just avoiding bigger challenges.
If moving home comes with a clear plan — enrolling at a local college, getting involved in the community, and staying on track academically — it’s a win. But if it’s just about curling up in his childhood bed and hitting pause on life, you might need to push him to tough it out a little longer.
If you decide to let him come home, treat it as a strategic move, not a retreat. Don’t be afraid to lay out clear expectations, especially if you end up taking a financial hit on that lease. Perhaps you both agree that he needs to maintain full-time enrollment and good grades, pick up a part-time job to chip in for expenses or help out around the house. You may even give him a budget to work with every month for personal expenses so he can continue to build those skills as well. This way, moving home feels less like “giving up” and more like making a smart pivot.
But What If You Push Him to Stay?
If you believe he can work through the homesickness, consider encouraging him to stick it out another semester. Often, the second term feels more manageable as students adjust. Joining a club or activity and perhaps seeking campus counseling services may also help him navigate homesickness.
It’s okay to be firm if you think staying will benefit him in the long run — just remember to be empathetic about his feelings.
The bottom line is there’s no perfect answer, but the key is to balance compassion with practicality. Whether he moves home or stays, the goal is the same: to help him grow into a confident, independent adult.
And even if you’re stuck paying that lease, remember this: you’re investing in your son’s future, not just his housing. Sometimes, a detour leads to the best destination.
Have a perplexing college question? Email Dear Roadie for advice at dearroadie@road2college.com
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