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Dear Roadie: Will Commuting to College From Home Harm My Son’s Growth?

Teen boy writing on a clipboard on top of a table. His mother leans in, smiling at him, and holds a book.

Dear Roadie: Will Commuting to College From Home Harm My Son’s Growth?

Published October 4, 2024

Teen boy writing on a clipboard on top of a table. His mother leans in, smiling at him, and holds a book.

Dear Roadie,
We don’t have the money to help our son pay for college, so he is choosing to make the smart choice and live at home at first while attending a local community college. I know it’s the right thing to do financially, but will this prevent him from being successful, especially socially? I worry that he would have more options if he was attending a different school.
— Still Home With My Kiddo

Dear Still Home With My Kiddo,

I’m glad to hear that your son has decided this on his own. He sounds like a very level-headed young man. But I wouldn’t call his decision smart — or not smart. That’s because there is no one-size-fits-all approach to college, there’s only the choice that’s right for you. If it works for him socially, financially, and academically, then it most certainly is a smart choice.

According to the Urban Institute, about a quarter of full-time undergraduate students live at home with their parents while attending college, so he’s in good company. The soaring costs of college prompt many students to consider this option, at least during the first year or two when they’re getting their general education requirements out of the way. Assuming he’s attending a public college or university, it’s likely to be the most affordable way to do it. Tuition tends to be lowest at local colleges, and since he’ll be living with you, he’ll save a bundle on room and board.  

Just to put this into context, consider the current average cost of in-state tuition and fees at public four-year colleges is $10,440 per year. Now, compare that to $3,730 per year at public community colleges, and you can understand why so many students choose this route. The savings are undeniable. Your son will be far less likely to graduate with debt as a result of choosing this option.

What Determines Success in College

As far as how successful he will be, professionally or socially, his decision to attend a local school has little bearing on that. I believe that life is what you make of it — you get what you give. If you make a sincere effort, more often than not, the universe rewards you. 

This means your son will have to invest in developing a new social scene for himself or building on the one he has now. This may mean joining clubs, sports, or organizations where he can meet people his age. A part-time job can also help open doors for him, both professionally later and socially now, especially if he chooses a workplace that employs people his age. So long as he’s willing to put himself out there, there’s no reason his social life can’t be as full and dynamic as it would be if he were attending a school farther away from home.

When it comes to his future professional success, I’m a firm believer that no school can make you successful — only you can forge that path. The college you attend does not dictate your journey. Choosing in-demand fields, keeping college costs low so you can make the most of your starting salary, and working hard to secure internships and join networking organizations are all smart choices that will help to set him up for success, but nothing is guaranteed.

Wherever he plans to graduate from, I suggest he researches the employment rates and average starting salaries of recent grads. It will give him a general idea of where students land after graduation, but even that is not a determinant of his future success. It’s up to him to put in the work to ensure he’s successful, no matter where he chooses to attend college.

Encourage him to use his time at home to save money and learn the ins and outs of budgeting. I’d also suggest giving him chores to do, if you don’t already, to ensure he learns the value of contributing to a household and what it takes to keep one going. 

If your son wants to be successful, either professionally, socially, or in any other way, he certainly can be, no matter where he goes to college.

Have a perplexing college question? Email Dear Roadie for advice at dearroadie@road2college.com

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A Parent’s Guide to the Pros and Cons of Community College

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