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Dear Roadie: My Husband Insists Our Daughter Attend an Ivy

The Gothic Archway at Princeton

Dear Roadie: My Husband Insists Our Daughter Attend an Ivy

Published on January 30, 2025

The Gothic Archway at Princeton

Dear Roadie,
My husband insists that our daughter apply to an Ivy League school or at least a public or so-called hidden Ivy. He says the prestige will open doors that other schools simply can’t. I think many other schools will also provide great education and job networking opportunities and are much more affordable. What do you think? Which is better?
— Are Ivies Worth It?

Dear “Are Ivies Worth It?” 

Oh, the classic college debate: Ivy League dreams versus practical affordability. First off, let’s give you both a pat on the back for caring so much about your daughter’s future. That said, let’s break this down so you can all breathe easier.

Here’s the truth: an Ivy League education isn’t the golden ticket to success that it’s often made out to be. Sure, it comes with prestige, networking opportunities, and that undeniable “wow” factor when someone asks, “Where’d you go to school?” But there are plenty of incredible schools out there—including public universities and smaller private colleges—that offer top-tier academics, vibrant campus life, and, yes, affordability. Sometimes, they’re a better fit depending on your daughter’s needs, goals, and personality.

It also can’t be understated that Ivy League schools are notoriously difficult to get into, even for students with stellar grades and test scores. With acceptance rates often below 10%, even the most qualified applicants face stiff competition. It’s not uncommon for students with perfect GPAs and impressive SAT or ACT scores to be passed over in favor of candidates who bring a distinctive perspective or story to the table. This makes the process not just about being “good enough” but about standing out in a crowd of excellence.

So, what’s the best move? Start by asking your daughter what she wants. What’s her dream career? Does she thrive in high-pressure environments or prefer something a little more chill? What’s important to her: location, class size, specific programs, or extracurricular opportunities? Remember, it’s her journey — not just yours or your husband’s — so her voice needs to take center stage here.

Now, let’s dive deeper into Ivy League and similar elite schools. They’re great if your daughter is academically driven, has specific career paths (like law or finance) where prestige might open doors, or just feels genuinely excited about the challenge. However, they’re also super competitive and expensive. Even with financial aid, the cost can be overwhelming, and there’s no guarantee that an Ivy degree will lead to a higher-paying job compared to other schools.

On the flip side, public universities and non-Ivy private colleges often deliver just as much bang for your buck—sometimes more. Many public schools have strong honors programs, excellent research opportunities, and standout faculty. Plus, they’re typically more affordable, potentially leaving your daughter with less debt. And those “hidden Ivies”? They are smaller schools like Davidson, Colgate, or Reed that combine stellar academics with close-knit communities. These schools can offer just as much prestige in their circles without the Ivy price tag.

The real magic isn’t just where your daughter goes — it’s what she does once she’s there. Employers care less about the name on the diploma and more about internships, leadership roles, and skills. So whether she’s at Harvard or State U, encourage her to dive into opportunities, build connections, and make the most of her experience.

My advice? Meet in the middle. Encourage your daughter to apply to a mix of schools: some reach schools (Ivy League if she’s interested), some solid fits, and a few more affordable options. This way, she’ll have choices when decision time rolls around. Who knows? She might fall in love with a non-Ivy school and leave you both wondering why you even argued in the first place.

At the end of the day, college is just the start of the adventure. Your daughter’s drive, passion, and how she seizes opportunities will matter far more than the name of the school on her sweatshirt. 

Have a perplexing college question? Email Dear Roadie for advice at dearroadie@road2college.com

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Other Articles You Might Like:

Dear Roadie: Is It Better to Be a Big Fish in a Small Pond or In the Top 25% of the Applicant Pool?

10 Reasons to Consider Smaller Schools with High Acceptance Rates

Is Your College List Balanced with Financial Safety, Match, and Reach Schools?

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