Dear Roadie,
We recently learned that my niece in college is pregnant. She found out when she went to the doctor for STD symptoms. She finally called my sister when she struggled to understand the pharmacist’s guidelines for taking antibiotics. I have two college-bound children myself, and this experience has me wondering how my son and daughter might handle situations like this, and what I can do better to prepare them. Any ideas?
— Should I Talk To My Kids More?
Dear Should I Talk To My Kids More?,
This is such a thoughtful—and brave—question. It’s clear that you’re coming from a place of love, awareness, and a real desire to prepare your kids for life in college beyond academics. Here’s some advice I’d offer for any parent navigating this:
Normalize Hard Conversations Before They’re Needed
The more you talk openly about health, relationships, sex, and personal responsibility before something happens, the more likely your child will feel comfortable coming to you if or when it does. That includes talking about STDs, contraception, consent, and what to do if they feel overwhelmed or unsure.
Help Them Build a Support Network
Let your kids know it’s okay not to have all the answers, but they should always know where to turn. That could mean helping them identify on-campus resources—health centers, counseling services, even a trusted professor or RA. And it can also mean encouraging relationships with other adults in their life, such as an aunt or mentor. Encourage them to save these contacts in their phones sooner rather than later, so they have them when they need them.
Teach Them How to Advocate for Their Health
One of the things that’s most surprising about your niece’s story is that it wasn’t the STD or even the pregnancy that prompted the call to her mom necessarily; it was the confusion over how to use antibiotics.
So many young adults feel intimidated or confused when talking to doctors or pharmacists (just like your niece did). Try practicing real-world scenarios with your kids—asking questions, reading prescriptions, and understanding consent at the doctor’s office. These conversations can make a huge difference.
Lead with Empathy, Not Judgment
Reassure your kids that if they ever find themselves in a difficult situation—be it a health scare, an unplanned pregnancy, or even just a confusing moment—they can always call you. It’s important they know that you will always help and be there for them, even if they tell you something that disappoints you. Emphasize that asking for help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Open the Door for Real Talk
If you feel comfortable, use your niece’s experience as a conversation starter. You don’t need to share every detail, but you can say something like: “I heard about a college student who was going through something tough and didn’t know who to call. It made me realize I want you to always know how to get help, whether it’s from me or someone else you trust.”
These aren’t easy talks to have with college-bound children, but they’re essential. The fact that you’re already thinking this way means you’re giving your kids a huge gift: the confidence to handle the unexpected, and the safety net of your support. You’ll feel so much better when they’re at college, knowing you had these conversations.
_______
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